4
She smiled smugly. —— I found myself thinking over Lorraine’s assessment of my situation as I lay in bed that night. My wandering thoughts began with anticipation of seeing her after Christmas, and sharing our feelings for one another. After all, we were in love with each other weren’t we? Everyone kept telling me that. I sat up abruptly. No! Wait a minute. Think things through. It wasn’t as easy as that. I should use my head. Something about that letter gave me an edgy feeling. Looking back on the past few days and weeks, I’d shown the letter mainly to women. All, including my sister, told me with pity for my stupidity and blindness that she was the love of my life and I was the love of hers. Female intuition based on one letter. Having read the letter they interpreted all the other events in the glow of that loving missive. On analysis, how loving was it? If she loved me to distraction, and if I was the only real love of her life, that heroic ‘setting me free’ did not ring true.. As much as I appreciate it, I have to ask what brought it on?" Love," was her simple reply. "And thanks for what you did. Jerry is my dad. He'll always be my dad. But he was never around much as I grew up, even while he was still with my mother. Then, for years, he basically disappeared from our lives. I know, intellectually, that he had to fight the demons that controlled his life, but that didn't mean much to a twelve year old girl. You, however, have been a constant in my life since the day we met. You mentored me, petted me when I needed reassurance, kicked my ass firguratively when it was necessary. Dorian says I was never fully a woman until you came into our lives. You have been always been the first one I turned to when I needed advice, and you were always honest with me. You held my hand when Cat was born, and I realized lately that you've held my hand ever since."I felt a lump forming in my throat as I listened to her. Allergies, I think."What I'm trying to say in this.
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